Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Found the puke drawer
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
