i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Please don't give away my fajitas
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
