so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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