Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I have feelings that need drinking.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize