he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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