if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
