Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize