i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
