Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
