Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We don't watch enough power rangers
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
