This is not my ceiling
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
