happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
foreskin is a definite game changer
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have aggressive nipples.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
