At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
