Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
