my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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