He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
