I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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