I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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