I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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