you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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