p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
