i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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