Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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