Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
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and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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