Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
