Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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