one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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