we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sober January is a disaster.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
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I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
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I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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