I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
