Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
