trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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