You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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