This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
