True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
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i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
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First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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