Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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