What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
