I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
