i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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