11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
