thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize