ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
