You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
