Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
