Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
