Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
