Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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