Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
