For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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