did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She needs sedatives and a leash
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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