Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
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