i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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