I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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