My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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