The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We need to get me chipped asap
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
