Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
