She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
