I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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