I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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