I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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