i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
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how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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