Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
