Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My dick has a subreddit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
