wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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