so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
